This is a post that’s been rolling around in my head for a while that I’ve been meaning to write. I think it is important to remember. I try to keep it as a sort of mantra (along with the tagline from the live action movie, “Have Courage and Be Kind”).
I like most people on an individual basis. I’m not a saint, there are some I can’t stand or don’t want to deal with. I’m generally unconcerned with whatever they choose to do with their time or attentions. I can also see most people for the interesting and good things about them, even if I don’t want to be BFFs.
I spent a rather embarrassingly long time of my life naively thinking this is how most other people were. It is not.
It does not matter how charitable, how smart, how kind – how completely and generally unoffensive you are as a person. Someone will not like you. Someone will take shots at you, try to tear you down, or just make your life uncomfortable. Maybe it’s because they are bitter and hate everyone. Maybe they are jealous. Who knows?
The crabs in a bucket theory is real. Many (even most) people actually behave this way. You won’t escape their cruelty, jealousy, or dislike, even if you try to be nice and try to make everyone like you. Hell, sometimes the act of trying to make everyone like you makes someone hate you. It’s impossible.
You will not make everyone happy. Everyone will not like you. The end.
Cinderella was kind, beautiful, courageous, helpful, and loving. And even someone – her steprelatives – hated her. In fact, they hated her because of who she was. There was nothing for her to do about it.
If not even everyone loved Cinderella, a perfect fairy tale heroine, they will not all love you.
I get it. It is hard to accept. I still struggle with it, particularly because I am rather mild mannered and make a concerted effort to be kind. I have been a people pleaser for most of my life.
But it still hasn’t made me universally beloved. All her wonderful qualities did not save Cinderella from her stepmother and stepsisters.
Be who you are – whoever that is, and stop worrying about everyone else. It’s hard to do. I am trying to become that way. But I am sure it will make my life better.